


Desperate To Hurt

by Septictrash247



Category: jacksepticeye - Fandom, markiplier - Fandom
Genre: Bad Flirting, Dark is not into it, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Gore, Hints of something more, Hurt/Comfort, I take requests, It's all okay, Knife Violence, Knifeplay, M/M, Mark and Jack are only mentioned, Minor Angst, Platonic Septiplier, Slight Cannibalism, anti might be, consenting violence, idk - Freeform, just not in a conventional way, no one dies, they do really like each other, trust me - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-29
Updated: 2018-05-29
Packaged: 2019-05-15 15:54:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14793476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Septictrash247/pseuds/Septictrash247
Summary: What happens when repression is repressed? Anti was the answer to that. When Sean was holding too much in and not venting properly, Anti was the one who was left suffering.





	Desperate To Hurt

**Author's Note:**

> *Requested anonymously. Does this count as a ship fic? Also, I’ll try not to make it so you can’t understand Anti’s accent, but.. I can’t help but giggle every time I write it.
> 
> Contains: Platonic frenemies, Gore, consensual violence, and swearing.

         Stalking through the dilapidated, tarnished, and muddy ground of the long since abandoned office, Anti sneered in disgust as he continued to search for his object of desire. As he made his way to the final floor he gasped slightly in exasperation, it was annoying to him that he had to keep stopping a few too many times to clutch his chest. The large door opened with a long and loud groan, he winced at the sound and continued his search, craning his ears to whatever noise would break the heavy silence. He felt his heart jolt and he once again clutched his chest as he braced himself against the large table. He was stuck gagging a few times, forcing the black liquid that filled his insides out with a few sharp coughs. It certainly didn’t help that the air in this old building was musty and every piece of furniture was covered in dust. He hated always having to take the hard and tedious ways out.

Though that was to be expected since the means of his transportation that surrounded his old home were all broken. Or fakes. Assholes.

Collecting himself again with a few shaky breaths he let out a very audible growl and tossed a chair aside. The clattering sound echoed upon empty walls, he was beginning to lose himself in his frustration. He tossed another chair, lazily watching it to where it landed as he whiplashed his head to the ceiling, yelling at no one in particular. “Where’d ye go n’ fookin’ hide it ye pompous assho-” He stopped himself as he spied a small shimmering glint of light out of the corner of his eye. Turning slowly and cautiously, he made his way over to a torn curtain, long since corroded and covered in dried dirt. Anti held his breath as he tugged gently on the heavy and thick crusted fabric. It gave way with ease as it tumbled down with a sounding plop. There, revealing itself to him was a tall and dark tinted mirror. Anti placed a hand upon the glass and wiped away the dust that had been collecting over the years. He looked over it in awe and chuckled as his hand traced along the etchings embedded into the frame. “Lucky son of a bitch..” He paused as his baby blue eyes met with themselves in the reflection, only they weren’t baby blue anymore, but leaking pools of black as his bandaged-up neck was also leaking of the same fluid. He flinched and touched his face, as if he wasn’t believing what he was seeing. “No.. no no no, shite ya godda be kiddin’ me! This soon?!” His breath hitched up as he wasted no time and stepped into the mirror.

 

        Dark made himself a nice and comfortable spot underneath Mark. Literally. His home mirrored his in every way, sure it wasn’t a world that was as vibrant as his counterpart’s, but for being the only one in the shadow realm to leave into the light, he wasn’t complaining. Though there were many things that could be improved. Like being treated with more respect, or being allowed the permission to operate in Mark’s head-space would’ve been nice, but with what he had for the most part, he was content. For now…

Propped up on the countertop of his kitchen, with nothing particular going on, Dark continued to scroll through his beloved phone and looked through all his documents. It was during this that his attention was drawn out by a renowned thud that erupted from up above him. He gave a soft sigh as he slipped his phone into his back pocket and headed up the stairs. Once at the top he turned the corner swiftly, and felt a surge of anxiety and grief fill hit his senses. It was refreshing compared to the numbness of repressed emotions Mark always kept locked away, but that only meant one other person was in the apartment with him. He placed a hand on the bathroom door firmly, pausing in his actions as he was about to it push open.

 

“If you even think about swiping my phone, I promise you, that hand will be broken in five places.”

 

He said, his calm tone was deep with small bits of reverbed static whispered in his warning, it commanded respect. Anti paused in his movements, clicking his tongue in disappointment, he pulled himself back a few feet. “Yer no fun.” He said as his shoulders shagged in disappointment. Dark turned, his gaze was unamused as he leaned back against the door, already showing clear signs of irritation. Anti wasn’t supposed to be playing with knives in his home. He knew that, so the fact that he was twiddling with the sharp object in his hands was done on purpose made him glower.

Anti knew this too and smirked slightly and he ran his thumb lightly over the sharp edge of the blade. His smirk widened as he saw Dark’s grimace. Dark hated blood, and Anti knew exactly why.

Dark looked him over, crossing his arms. “Your appearance, it seems to be worse than usual.” Anti snapped back out of habit. “N’ ye look like absolute shite as always.” Dark rolled his eyes and made a wiping motion with his finger just below his eyelid to jester what he meant. Anti furrowed his brow and wiped at the spot Dark had pointed to, looking down he discovered a dark smudge had stained his hand. He blushed slightly. It was Dark’s turn to look smug, putting the pieces together quickly for the meaning of this visit. However, knowing how sensitive Anti was about this, and the fact that it was a mutual agreement between them that he would never make fun of him for this condition, he bit his tongue. Besides, when you got down to why this was happening it wasn’t really funny. Anti scoffed and looked away, wiping the smudge on his jeans. “Whatever.” He growled.

Now just because Dark understood his need, didn’t mean he wasn’t going to milk it for all its worth. It was rare that there was ever a feeling of control over the smaller figure. It was fun to watch him beg. So, after giving a sly smile for a brief moment he let his face take on a nonchalant expression, nose tilted high to show his superiority, he let his hands slip in his pockets. He started to walk back down the stairs, shoving passed Anti. “Well if you didn’t come here for anything..”

Anti looked over as he passed him, looking offended and pissed off as a shock ran down his spine. “Ye know damn well why I-” he stopped in mid-sentence as he felt his body stagger, his blood turned cold, skin slowly melting away, being replaced by his true grotesque inky black form. Anti’s knees buckled as he fell onto the floor dropping the knife, bleeding, body collapsing on itself as his face melted into its original image of his counterpart’s sin.

Sean, was repressing something bad this time.

Anti trembled in humiliation. He hated asking. He hated how weak he felt when he was like this. But he knew Dark wasn’t going to help him unless he did.

Dark’s eyes widen slightly, empathy was turned to disgust as Anti vomited black liquid onto the carpet. Shame, he liked that carpet and now he was going to spend all day cleaning it later. He felt a small twinge of guilt as he watched Anti shake with pain, he almost broke his demeanor to help. “S-” Anti snapped his head up, holding his stomach as hot tears threatened to escape. His voice was shaky and disjointed. “P-please.. Please H̷̨E͟L̛P̕ ̵͘m͜e̵̛͝ !” Dark stood there for a long time, taking in his guest's pain stricken face before finally sighing. “You know where my bedroom is. Can you walk on your own?” Anti nodded shamefully in response. Surprising himself, he managed to stagger into the familiar bedroom and once again, fell clutching the edge of the bed. Fresh and normal tears began to trail onto his cheeks as he tried to maintain his body, but it was too much. He was in so much pain, and in his head, he was swearing and cursing out Sean like his life depended on it.

 

         What happens when repression is repressed? Anti was the answer to that. When Sean was holding too much in and not venting properly, Anti was the one who was left suffering. When he first tried to console Sean, he turned a blind eye to his pain and once again, casted him in his shadow. Anti unconsciously touch the bandages along his cut neck and tenderly rubbed the wound, his body throbbed and ached all over. He bit his lip hard as he tried to hold back a sob. He hated crying in front of people, especially since everyone assumed him to be this unfeeling demon who spent his days torturing “Jacksepticeye” for fun. But in reality, the opposite was the truth, and Anti let out a frustrated choke of a sob as he thought bitterly about how no one would ever believe him. Not after what Sean had done. The only person who could possibly understand him was Dark.

Dark came in behind him as Anti had his little moment to compose himself. Dark knew how important it was to have some form of dignity in this kind of situation. He certainly wasn't a man without proper manners after all. So, he patiently waited, hands behind his back, palming the knife he had retrieved. Once he concluded that Anti was stable enough to say at least a few coherent words: He shrugged off his jacket, tugged off his tie, and rolled up his shirt sleeves. He didn’t like cleaning up all the stains on his suit jacket, no matter how inappropriate this seemed.

Come to think of it, this was the start of a very sexual scene, wasn’t it? Dressing down to perform an intimate act to a trembling, begging man beneath him. His face contorted with repugnance as the thought crossed his mind. People really did have depraved imaginations about him, and would've loved to have seen something like this. They believed him to be the type of person who would do such a thing. As if. The mere thought was revolting to him.

Shaking his head of the unclean thoughts, he cleared his throat signaling to Anti that he was ready. “Can you stand against the wall?” Anti sighed, grunting with effort as he does so, carefully. He leaned back against the wall, still melting into puddles of goo. Dark stalked over calmly, knife in hand, and wrapped his other hand around Anti’s already damaged throat. He traced the tip of the knife along the edge of the bandages and cut them free, displaying Anti's deep gash that was barley sealed by reforming skin. Giving his neck firm squeeze, Dark shivered as the fragile skin nearly tore, blood and liquid pouring through the opening. He swallowed a dry lump in his throat as his eyes locked with Anti's pits of darkness. Dark's own ebony eyes were reflected back, only showing determination and nothing else.

This was so embarrassing and awkward that Anti just had to let out one last complaint before he wasn’t able to say anything else except for screams, his heart palpitating in anticipation.

 

“Yer fookin’ mirror was almost impossible te find. Took me fer fookin’ ever! Makin’ me go tur so much trouble, ye better hurry te Hell up Dark. ‘Cuz right now, this gentle stuff’s really gettin’ on my nerv-”

 

He gasped when the knife entered his stomach, already the intense sensation was hurting more than his numbing body. It stung, it burned, it hurt so much. Good. Dark slowly dragged the knife up, squeezing on Anti’s neck harder, enough to make the already damaged skin open up with a sicken tearing sound of newly punctured skin. Anti, out of flight or fight instincts, gripped Dark’s wrists with his hands. Digging his nails in painfully deep as he choked out a pathetic whimper, fresh tears pouring out.

Dark didn’t let up though, he knew how important this was to Anti, and he was the kinda guy who never half assed an assignment when it was given. He panted softly, the smell of blood starting to get to him, but he was determined to control his inner animal this time, his own form beginning to distort and break. “Anti.. Let go, you’re fine.” He said through gritted teeth.

Anti slowly let go of Dark’s now crescent punctured wrist slowly as his breathing steadied once more. Once his mind and senses came into focus again, he felt the wind get knocked right out of his lungs with a sounding “HOAF!” as Dark banged the edge of his fist swiftly and hard against Anti’s chest. Dark let go of the knife as he allowed Anti to inhale and only inhale as he tried to find his breath, falling to his knees.

Anti, gasping for needed air looked up at Dark, and for a brief moment, his eyes sparked that familiar baby blue. His baby blue. He felt comfort in knowing that he was being taken care of. No one else would have the balls to hurt him like this, and there wasn’t anyone else he could tell this to. He trusted Dark. He knew his secret was safe with him, he knew he would be able to understand what he was going through, Dark knew exactly what to do, no questions ask. The perks of knowing someone with a type-A personality sure came in handy.

It was how Sean felt when he was with Mark. Safe.

Anti managed to gasp out a response that had been building up in his throat for some time now. “D-dark.. Pl..ease do.. D-don’ hold ba..ck..” Dark stared for a bit before replying with a casual grin on his lips. “I hadn't entertained the thought.” Even though Dark was lying through his teeth, Anti lowed his head feeling foolish. But at the same time, he was grateful, though he was determined to not let Dark know that.

Suddenly he was picked up by the back of his neck and pinned straight on his back on the hard ground. He figured Dark didn't want the bed getting dirty again. He gasped as Dark straddled him and once again jammed the knife into his stomach. Anti arched his back up out of reflex, his body twitching, but he kept his arms to himself no matter how much he wanted to fight back. He squirmed, his body shaking and losing so much blood. He let out a pitiful whimper, vision clouded with black spots.

Dark smelt the iron. He gritted his teeth as the smell of blood entered his senses. Blood, blood always made him turn into the thing he despised the most. A creature of the dark. He panted and turned his head away to try and escaped these feelings but it wasn’t any use. Mark's inner sin was pushing its way out of his body. He almost told Anti that he wanted to stop. But then he remembered, he wasn’t supposed to hold back. He felt shame in his wanton need, but soon all other reservations were drowned out by a single voice saying, “More.” He let out a very low and animistic growl that shook him to the core. It was as if he was in a different head space as his desires took over. Mark, if he could see him now, would’ve thought low of him and would’ve felt no pity for the cravings he put into him. The thought only made him angrier, and figured, ‘what the hell?’. His eyes, glowing a dangerous red, was a sign that he had lost himself. He lifted Anti’s shirt up and looked over the opened wounds, and had a yearning to make more. And so he did.

Each puncture wound was Hell. Each ruptured organ being torn from his person, was Hell. His body was in Hell. But still, it was exactly what he needed. Anti began to sob, losing his strong demeanor as he broke down. This all was so degrading and humiliating, he was pathetic. At this, he started laughing. Laughing as Dark drove the knife into his heart, laughed as he broke his teeth, and laughed as his organs were ripped out of him. He couldn’t die, that was the funny part. He laughed harder in hysterics as he was inflicted with endless amounts of pain. It didn’t feel good at all, as so many other people had been lead to believe.

He wasn’t a masochist. This was horrible, this was agonizing, this was pure torment. But it was the only thing that released all of the numbing internal feelings that Sean put into him. Dark spoke clearly above the screaming. “Does it hurt, Anti? Tell me how much agony you’re in. Please, I need to hear you scream it.” He demanded as he tore his small intestine open. With his teeth. Anti answered between laughter. “Y-yes! Y-yes i̢̛t̸͏ ̵̧́h͜u̴͡r̸̛͞ts͟ ̸̡ so fokin’ much! G-God- I- I c-ca- AH F̴͞͞F҉̷̨F̴̨͝Ú͡U͘͟͡Ù̶̢͝U͡͞҉̸Ć̸̕Ḱ̵̛͟ ͢͡IT;̡͘͘̕͏H̴̕̕͜U͏̴҉̸̴R͟͠T͟͏̢̛S̷̨͝- ‘M in s-so much p̵͡a͞i͠n̶̢͠!” As Dark continued to tear his body open with his hands and teeth, Anti’s vision began to go black, his own screaming was beginning to fade out in his own ears. He hyperventilated, scared for a brief moment that he’d might die as darkness was surrounding him. “D͝o̸n͞’ ̀şend̕ ͘m̧-mȩ ͡b̢a͠ck ̛the͟re͢!” He screamed in horror, slowly losing his mind over where he was or what was going on. His eyes widened, shaking and trying desperately to stay awake as he imagined those damn hands pulling him away from the light once again. He gripped Dark's shoulder in search of some solid structure to hold onto in comfort. But his grip was all but weak. “P̧͠l͡͝e̕as͘e ̴̀͠d̶͝on̡’ ̷͞p̡u̢͜͜t ̸̡̡m̸̷̢e ̶b̷͠a̡͝͠ç̴k̸̛ ̷͢t̸h͝e̢ŕ͠e!̴͜” He didn’t want to return to his home, his deep pitch-black home of deafening silence and solitude. That place where no one heard his cries, where no one would be able to find him. Where he was left to rot with no way out. His breath hitched as he sobbed, momentarily jarring Dark away from his subspace as he heard Anti desperately plead mercy. “D̨͟͡͏O̶͢͡Ǹ̢͝’̶͠ ͏͏Ş̵̢̛͞E̶͡Ņ̵̛̕͘D̴̸͏̕ ͝͏̛҉M̡̡͘E̴̢͘͘͜ ́B̢͘A͞C̶͘̕͜͞K͢͡ ̶͜͜T̢̀H̴͟E̴̢̢͘R̶̨̛͠È͜͡͝!̴̀͟͠͡” Dark snapped him out of it, sensing what the other needed as he slapped him hard across the face, waking Anti up from slipping into unconsciousness.

With that final slap, the sound woke Dark up fully too. He panted softly as his eyes returned to their normal state; black irises with a red outline. He blinked a few times as he looked down at all the black substance and blood covering him. His eyes trailed over Anti’s disfigured, grotesque, and quaking body. Dark felt like he was going to throw up, but keeping his calm, and swallowing what was left of the other's blood, he leaned over to see if Anti was still with him. In a hushed toned he called out to him, all signs of domination or aggression forgotten. “..Sean?” Dark rarely ever used Anti’s real name, but he figured if Anti was going to respond to anything, it was that.

Anti let out a weak breath as he looked over, tears still pouring down. He tried to speak but it came out as a choking garbled sound. “Hush.” Dark replied. “You sound repulsive right now.” The older had continued, giving a small smile. Anti wanted to retort back, but Dark stated his sentence knowing exactly what he wanted to say. “And I don't look any better. Trust me, I am aware of the fact myself.” Dark said with a playful smirk. Anti smiled back as his eyes slipped shut into sleep, body bleeding out on Dark’s nice carpet.

 

         After his body was well enough to stand on its own, Anti proceeded to bandage himself up again. Dark smoked on the edge of his bed, in more comfortable, loose clothing. Dark knew that if Anti needed his assistance, he would ask. Unlike himself, Anti was very honest. So, in the meantime he leaned back, allowing the smoke to travel down his throat. Everything was quiet. Uncomfortably quiet. Dark looked over at Anti’s pale back, all covered in deep scars, he winced slightly as he looked down at his lap. The aftermath of this kind of thing always made him feel odd. There was a part of him that wanted to comfort Anti, to ask if he was going to be okay. Mark’s nature. But, his mental capacity prevented him from acting on behalf of another person this way. It wasn’t in his nature.

Anti pulled on his shirt, looking down at himself as he let out a deep sigh, turning back to Dark. His restrained form was back to normal, no longer leaking blood or black, eyes a piercing blue once again. But boy was he exhausted. He cleared his throat as he rubbed the back of his neck feeling uncomfortable, but he couldn’t just keep silent. “T.. Thank… - Ugh ye did whadd' I asked. Good ‘nuff.” He said huffing in frustration crossing his arms. Dark scoffed. “Is that how you dictate an appreciative remark?” He tilted his head sideways, mostly teasing but also annoyed. Anti glared and crossed his arms. “From te way ye're practically droolin’ all over me, I figured that’d be enough fer ye. Seems like ye got more enjoyment outta it then ye wanted huh? Ye kinky fook.” He said with a quizzical smirk as he looked down to gestured towards his crotch. He enjoyed teasing him like this, knowing full well that Dark absolutely hated dirty humor. Dark scowled and unconsciously crossed a leg over his lap. Anti chuckled knowing he'd won that. “Deplorable.” Dark muttered, “You bring out the absolute worst in me.” Anti managed to sit next to him, always tempted to get the last word in, like a compulsion. Besides, if Dark didn't want to start something with him then he would've shut up.

 

“I've been told I've beena bad influence.”

 

“The word you're thinking of is ‘toxic’.”

 

“Oh an’ what pray tell are’ye gonna do ‘bout that Darky? Discipline me?~”

 

“Ugh! Shut up about that stupid line! I can't believe Mark had the nerve to make me utter that.”

 

“Well ye are what ye are. A tool.”

 

“If your continued presence here, is just to push my buttons then I suggest you move back to mirror that way. Besides. The fact of the matter is, you aren't even allowed in this plain of existence for this long in the first place.”

 

As soon as he said that, Anti felt the effects beginning to weigh him down. With no proper bond by anyone, his existence was fading. Not permanently of course, but he could only stay here for a certain amount of time. Sighing to himself he stood up and made his way towards the door knowing that Dark was right as always. He paused in the doorway and glanced back at the figure on the bed, biting his lip he finally uttered a proper send off. “Thank you.” And just like that he was gone. Dark was once again left alone in his big apartment. He looked down in his lap again and just stared for a while feeling empty as the walls echoed with Mark’s joyous laughter. There was no doubt that he was spending time with his friends, and was genuinely enjoying it.


End file.
